Men from Asia: Online and Long Distance Relationships Can they Work?

So you’ve been looking for that special someone and you, like millions of others, have turned to the internet for help. With the advent of social networking, and dating sites, it is now easier than ever before to meet someone. But I am sure you may have experienced at times how unstable, unrealistic, and unreliable, it can be. I know that it can be frustrating, and maybe you look at it as good practice, or an opportunity to build up your confidence. Maybe you see it as a learning experience, a way to practice approaching skills, and practice your English (if you are not already fluent in it). Maybe you partake in short flirtatious conversations, talk about your lives and what you may have  in common, and as long as things don’t get out of control, it can be a pleasant experience.  But as a man living in Asia, what choice do you really have to meet and communicate with white women? Often times within your own country you will have rare opportunities to meet western women, even if you live in larger more modernized cities in Asian.  So what choice do you have? Because if you’re looking for a women in the US, Canada, or Europe, the internet is really your only option. Unless you plan to make the decision to move there and start a new life, the internet is the next best thing.

As you navigate your way through the masses of people, maybe you have a method to narrow down your choice to the right type of people, or maybe you just randomly talk to any women that have cute pictures. But however you do it, I am sure you’re thinking in the back of your mind, can this really work out? Can I meet someone and actually make a long distance relationship work?  Do most women that I meet just want fun, or just want to be good friends, and would they even consider having a long distant relationship with me?Those are really good questions, and I think that it depends on the individuals. Some people just are looking for fun, online sex, and other unmentionable things. These types of people, you can tell their character after only a short conversation. If you’re generally interested in getting to know someone, then these people really should be avoided. Don’t waste your time on someone that it not interested in you for who you are as a person.

Dating and relationships online can be similar to the real life thing. You need to weed out the people that you are not interested in, and start getting to know the people that you think would be a good match for you. Yes it takes time, an investment, and effort, just like in none virtual relationship building.  But I don’t think it’s a waste of time, because if you are honest about yourself you can make some very meaningful relationships.

So, do I think meeting someone online can ever work? Yes I do, and here is how it can:

1. You need to share the same morals, values, and intellectual standards.

2. You need to be honest about yourself, wants, needs, habits, lifestyle choices and etc..

3. You need to be the type of individual who is dedicated to the ones you choose to care about, and treat those people with respect.

4. Be honest about the way you look, personal grooming habits, and etc..

Yes again, it’s just like in a non virtual relationship! You need to do the same things, but it’s just that you are not always there in person to be with them. If you can do this then I think you have a great chance of making a relationship work. Eventually things can become serious, and you will have to start meeting in person. Then there will come a time when you need to decide where you want to live, in which country, which will give up a job, leave family and friends, and all those kinds of issues.

So can online dating and relationships work? Yes they can! When we see them fail it’s because people are not honest, are not true to who they are, and you can not build a friendship or romantic relationship on that kind of mentality.

Passive Aggressive Symptoms in Asian Men

Growing up as an Asian child, I was taught it was completely normal to suppress my feelings. My fellow Asian peers were alike as well. Their parents pushed them to excel academically, without any emphasis on the development of social skills or leadership.  When there was something that made you upset, it was expected as a male that you remain calm and collected. The problem is that it meant that we usually bottled up all the events which made us annoyed or upset.

When the situation became unbearable, I’d often have my temper flare up because I felt that it was unjustified that all the past sequence of events that made me upset went unwarranted. It pushed me over the top and I needed a release. Sadly I used to do this all the time. What’s more disturbing is that I thought this behaviour was completely normal, but it is very unhealthy and unacceptable for an AMWF relationship.

The Silence of Approval and Displeasure

This is one of the most difficult things to understand between Asian and Western Culture. From what I have learned from Western Culture, silence is often associated with displeasure or saddening. Silence can be viewed as the closing of communication between two parties. When there is no active dialogue, there’s awkwardness in the air. There are also instances such as giving a moment of silence to express grief for a tragedy as well.

In Asian Culture, it is both approval and displeasure, and this gives many mixed signals to the White Female. Sometimes it is just approval like agreeing on something trivial like the sunny weather. Actually, we have a sound usually for approval.

She says: “It’s gorgeous outside.”

He says: “Mmm.”

In this case, his quick response in agreement is not expressing any displeasure at all. He simply enjoys your company and the sunshine. Identify a quick firm response to the situation. The tone can be slightly rising, but not excessively – for that is a more feminine response.  Keep in mind that is the positive or neutral sound of “mmm” there’s also an unhappy version of it as well.

There is also a slight twist to this. The way we express slight annoyance or displeasure is using sounds like “mmm” but in lingering lower tone. This is one of the sounds we use when we have to agree with our elders or when we get nagged by our parents. The key is to distinguish between the tone and length of the response.

I would believe our true objective as Asians is to embrace a kind of neutrality to it, a bringing of peace and calmness instead of complete happiness. Think of a Yin and Yang, it’s all about balance. Being overly happy is a rollercoaster ride of drama, while being excessively down makes you a bitter person. Thus, being completely at peace is consistently steady. We value that as Asians.

Catching Things Before They Go Nuclear

What’s important for the White Female to understand is to pick up on the subtle clues we leave about our displeasure. It is of course rude to say things directly, and we assume as Asian Men that you think the same way. Usually this is not the case. Problems start to pile up and then suddenly the Asian Male becomes visibly upset over something small, but it’s been a reoccurring problem.

Fortunately this can be worked on together. The White Female has to recognize and make an effort to reinforce the fact that it’s healthy for him to express his feelings, even if they are about unhappiness. Making things disappear today only places a bigger burden on the future.

For the Asian Males, we also have to do a better job to let our White Females know when we are upset. It does not mean raising our voices or any other physical uses, it is simply stating what happened and why it made you upset. Don’t worry she will understand and appreciate that you are making the effort to do so.

In summary, the severity is as follows:

Technophile – The biggest culprit of this usually because of communication skills. Has a decent tolerance for displeasure, but you have to take action to help him.
Comedian – Tends to let anger out the easiest by surrounding himself with people, and will find someone (if not you) to make him feel better.
Ambitious – Vicious. Situtations need to be diffused as soon as possible. Step in, empathize for the situation, but don’t shoulder the blame. He’ll be fine after everything subsides.
Individual – difficult to understand sometimes, but let him know you’re always available to talk, and he’ll seek you afterwards.

A Lack of Public Affection From Your Asian Man, What Does It Mean?

Most Asian families show love indirectly, and that includes love between everyone from husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and kids. But I am sure you have noticed that the moment you step through the doorway into his parents house, he turns the affection and flirtations down to practically nothing. To a woman from a western society, that can seem really strange. In fact I often will make you ask yourself, what’s going on?

Now it’s not to say that in the west women show lots of affection to their boyfriend /fiancé /husband in front of parents or friends. Etiquette dictates that you should not do things like kissing, and other such extreme displays of affection in public. But you can hold hands, or put your arm around your loved one, and no one will have any issues with that. So when your Asian man does not hold your hand, or sit close to you, or even stay in the same room with you, especially the first time it just seems like something is wrong.

As a women, my first thought would naturally be that something is wrong. Maybe he is upset with me, maybe I did something wrong, maybe he is embarrassed of me? But don’t feel this way, because you handsome Asian man is just doing what he has learned. Try and understand that he is being the kind of son his parents are used to. That means you will have to deal with a little less outward affection while around the family, in public, around friends or etc.

Asian men are no different than any other. They want affection, love, sex and all that good stuff. But in Asian cultures, outside of the home, there exists a more wholesome appearance, one that implies that those kinds of things don’t happen. It’s a world of innocence, where no one holds hands, kisses, or any such things. Of course we know what happens behind “closed doors” but you don’t dare make reference to it in public.

When it comes down to it, I wouldn’t worry about his lack of affection to you around parents, friends, or etc. It doesn’t mean he loves you any less, it doesn’t mean he is any less interested in you, it just means he is being respectful to others and the culture around him.

How Long Has the AMWF Relationship Been Around?

I have always wondered how far back we can trace the origins of the AMWF relationship. At first I thought, it must be in the last 20 years or so, but I was wrong! Below is an example of an AMWF family from the 1800’s.

Mei Quong Tart (1850-1903) was a leading nineteenth century Aussie merchant from China. On 30 August 1886 he married a young English school teacher, Margaret Scarlett. Her family, although friends with Quong Tart’s, did not approve of the union and her father refused to attend the wedding.

I guess it’s been around much longer then I thought, and it looks like they had to face their share of disapproving parents as well.

The Asian Fetish – Part II

I was referred to an article by a fellow reader that pertained to the “Asian Fetish”. If you want to read the article, you can read it here. One of the lines that really struck me was how he described the fetish.

Typically, the issue arises when the assertive, independent Asian American woman (who is culturally not too different from her non-Asian peers) is expected to conform to the fantasy image of a mysterious, exotic and submissive Oriental female.

Although it does imply Asian Females, Moe’s article refers to both Asian Males and Asian Females. Really that’s exactly what makes it a turn off for both Asian Males and Females – the expectation of conformation to the fantasy. There is nothing wrong playfully once and awhile, but if we are almost demanded to do this every day, it makes Asian men uncomfortable.

 The premise of the article describes five traits that are commonly found with non-Asians that have a strong preference for Asians. He uses these five traits to presumably describe five types of people (may also be combinations) that have “intense” attraction to Asians. I use intense, to emphasize why it is called a fetish. I will give a theorized paring to each of the five traits. In a sense, I’ll use HSLA + TCAI to explain this a bit more.  Dyn Moe’s traits are as follows:

Sensitive nature or fragile ego

This is very much related to WMAF more than AMWF. If your society shunned you, but halfway across the world there are people worshiping your presence, you would definitely want to go there.

My theorized pairing: Humanitarian + Technophile. These are both good-natured, but quiet people. Someone very brash and outspoken is definitely not a turn on for this Humanitarian – thus she needs to relate to someone quiet and caring.

Know-it-all attitude

This also applies more to WMAF, but can to AMWF. In regards to the White Female, this is choosing a male who will submit and worship her. He will recognize that she has knowledge in Western Culture, and will appreciate everything she has to offer.

Lioness + Technophile would best represent this kind of pairing.

Verbally competitive

Actually when I think about this one, this is closely related to know it all attitude, but slightly different. While the know-it-all attitude wishes the Asian man to submit, being verbally competitive forces her Asian man into submission. This is more of a cultural thing as Dyn Moe describes how Asians try to diffuse conflict. By agreeing, the Asian male wants to maintain peace, despite the fact that he disagrees with her.

Socialite/Lioness + Technophile (starting to see a pattern?) – These two outgoing types tend to do the most talking.

Uncommon selfishness

In many cases, it is a great pride for Asian males to provide financially for their female interest.  Having a “me first” attitude requires someone who will attend to those needs. It’s to nobody’s surprise that being with someone who wants to play second fiddle will take that role. In Moe’s article he usually refers this to the WMAF as in the male being so self-centered. This is almost a scary signal to an abusive relationship.  It doesn’t have to be physically abusive, but emotionally, mentally, financially, or spiritually abusive.

Socialite/Lioness + Technophile (surprise!)

Tendency to externalize problems

This is one who blames society for their problems – for being such a misfit. This is not necessarily a bad trait, nevertheless is one stated by Moe. The problem is when the White Female idealizes Asian Men to be easily “Accepted and honoured” but as Moe suggests “forgets that people anywhere in the world do not like people who are mean, selfish, or arrogant.”

Advocate/Lioness + Technophile

The Asian Fetish

We have to remember this is the Asian Fetish and characteristics of people who possess the Asian Fetish. The fundamental reason for calling it an Asian Fetish is because the preferences arise from the “Fantasy” of how Asian Men are much less abrasive than their non-Asian counterparts – and possibly will spoil their women.  The reason why I used the Technophile archetype for every “theoretical example” is because they are considered to be the prototypical Asian Male. Of course we know that there are still three other types of Asian men who have been left out – only to never be considered.

Dyn Moe really only describes the Asian Fetish for the White Female seeking the “Fantasy” gentle, quiet, and introverted Asian male – but he leaves out the Comedian, Ambitious, and Individual archetypes. To tell you the truth, these three types are the ones with the White Fetish. Technophiles may not even know they are interested in White Females, and definitely will rarely make the first move to show interest. For the other three, they really do have interest in White Females -–and are not afraid to express it one way or another.

I would almost go as far to say even I have a White Fetish. There are countless times in my life I have been shunned and rejected by Asian Females – and usually immediately. It felt like they shut the door on me. As a result I tend to relate to Caucasian women more and more.

Fetishes are not necessarily a bad thing, but we have to distinguish between Fantasy and Reality. We don’t mind speaking phrases to you in our Asian languages, but we don’t want you to make us someone we are not. We certainly will love and care for you, but people remember we are human too. What I mean by this is the woman who demands her Asian man to wear some Asian costume to bed every night sends a clear message: RUN.

Men from Asia: Pioneers in the Western Dating Market

Regardless of most external factors, the mentality of the Asian male is largely based on his family’s influence. We all know that mom traditionally is the one in charge of raising the children, domestic duties, enforcing morals/values, and achievements in education. Perhaps when you were in school as a child your life was regimented and overseen by her. She made sure you spent more time studying then socializing with other children, kept you on schedule for piano lessons or other activities. She made sure all your needs were met, and that you spent enough time meeting your obligations to family and close family friends (So much in fact that you maybe never needed other friends around). She was the center of your world!

Asian fathers do have a say in most matters, but in the end the decisions still seems to fall on mom when it comes to her son’s happiness and well being. She already has thought about your career, marriage, kids, and grand kids, before you even knew how you felt about it yourself.  Now don’t get me wrong, I give Asian moms credit because they just want your life to be a good one. Free from poverty, problems, and anything that would ruin your chances of happiness is life. In theory this is all fine and good, but when it comes to wanting something different then what mom thinks is best for you, now you’re playing a different  game.

So when it comes to dating western women, or someone from a different culture all together, I bet you realize this might be tricky. Let’s be honest, if your mom is traditional it’s not going to be easy. If your mom is open to minded, it will be much better. But any way you look at it, there may be obstacles standing in your way. Anything from distance and location, time zone differences, language and etc… Even with all that, you know you can make it work. But when you need to sit down and tell mom that you are interested, want to date seriously, or in love with that oh so special foreign lady, now that’s the hardest part.  Now when you tell her how you feel about this western woman, mom will probably be thinking one thing. Will my son, and my grandchildren, have a better life with this women, than he could have in his own country, with his own race?

It’s not a bad question, but I feel it is one that plants the seed of doubt in your mind. One that makes you question your own personal feeling, needs, and wants. I just keep finding that men from Asian countries are hesitant to date and marry white women. I think they feel things wont, or might not work out. That they feel they may disappoint or let down there mom, family, and social obligations. I think that it often puts them in a position to go against perhaps their family or community, and that can be difficult. So when I think about the men from Asia, who do learn English, study western cultures, who stay up all night to talk online, I give them a lot of credit.

So why are you a pioneer? Because as a man living in Asia, you may find yourself in a position that requires you to do something none of your friends of family have done before. You will need to be the guy that says, I want what I want, I do what I feel is right for me, regardless of the social pressures that surround me. Yes that’s you. You can be that guy who goes after what he wants. No you don’t have to disown your family, friends, or leave your culture behind, you just need to the have confidence to do what’s right for you. So if it’s what you want, the only thing that could ever really stop you is you. Go discover, explore, and make your dreams a reality. You are a pioneer!

Interpersonal Relationships – Using TCAI

 

Our favourite model is back again. When dealing with describing Asian Men, I find it most useful to make four distinct Archetypes of Asian Men. Like I have always said before, every Asian male has qualities from all four types, but there is usually one predominant over the other three. This time I will discuss the interpersonal relationships using the TCAI Model. This can be used when talking to Asian Men, as a White Female, or even any other person – regardless of relation.

This idea came apparent to me when I was imagining different types of people at the podium giving a public speech. I contemplated on what they would say, but what struck me was the underlying purpose of their speech.

The Technophile: To be greatly appreciated

When talking to a Technophile type, it is important to recognize his contributions and show your appreciation. Since the Technophile is usually a more introverted type, the ways of showing your gratitude can be a simple thanks.  These people are technically savvy, with great knowledge and skill. However when it comes to the communication department, it is very difficult for them to fully express what or how they feel. Fortunately they can recognize the emotions of gratitude and appreciation. Their actions speak louder than their words.

Conversational elements will include: the latest news on electronics and technology, current events, new and upcoming cars, or exciting video games.

The Comedian: To be loved & adored

There is no better feeling to them than to be loved and adored by everyone around them.  Comedians are the ones who can harness the power of humour to bring smiles to everyone’s faces. It comes almost natural to them.  When observing a Comedian in conversation with others, they will be the one taking centre stage, feeding off the beaming smiles of their audience.  Being around people is not a problem for the innately extroverted Comedian. Throughout and by the end of the interaction, the audience remembers how the Comedian made them laugh and brought out joyful memories.

Comedians prefer conversing about popular culture, fashion, sports, social events, card games, and board games. Honestly anything that creates an audience and is funny.

The Ambitious: To be respected & revered

Ambitious types love being respected and revered because they believe that it has been earned. Usually in high social or career positions, they sacrificed much of their youthful leisure to attain such high status. This is different from the Technophile and Comedian in a very slight subtle way. Technophiles places others on a higher position than them, while Comedians prefer the same level. For the Ambitious, they may see that everyone is subordinate to them. At worst it can be felt as bossy, but they really want to do their best. Given that they have a high position, they believe that they have an even greater responsibility to contribute.

For the Ambitious, they have a multitude of topics to talk about. Actually they can be fairly well versed in any topic, but they have a natural gravitation to elements that give elite social status. The purpose of the conversation is to be admired. You will stop and say, “Wow”. They draw similar elements of the Technophiles with the latest gadgets, but they are only focused on the best.  They too enjoy the topics of the Comedians as well, but the underlying intention is not to make you smile, it’s for you to drop your jaw in awe of their presence.

The Individual: To be deeply moved

There’s quite a diverse variety of Individuals. They can range from the quirky types to ones who create the trend before it even begins. To them, it’s not about being appreciated, loved, or revered. Actually, it really is about understanding what they do and the great deal of work they put into it. If Individuals were to give a speech, it would be something so convincing and touching that you would be deeply moved by it. You would feel pathos, to respond so powerfully emotionally that you may reach an epiphany.

Individuals can also talk about anything for the most part, however what they truly enjoy are elements which pertain to our own humanity as a whole. They love design, form, or any ideas that express freedom.  They really do not care if they are loved or hated; they just want to be understood. These are the types that believe they leave a piece of themselves in everything that they do. That’s what makes it real.

Fantasy & Reality – Beyond Skin Deep

With modern technological advancements, we are able to share information instantly. When it comes to learning about another culture, we turn to mainstream mediums such as television and internet to provide us with an insight into the culture. Often at times this perception does not accurately reflect what actually happens in Asia or in North America.

Skin Deep

Come to think of it, I have come across a term called Asian Fetish, but I feel that it is incomplete. For a person with an Asian Fetish, they would like almost everything Asian. In this case, we usually assume it to be a Caucasian Female who is deeply interested in anything Asian. While this may seem refreshing at first for the Asian Male, we begin to realize that she has fallen in love with a fantasy. Exposure to Asian popular culture can be a good thing, but it can leave you only wanting the superficial and physical characteristics of Asian Men.

The reality is that there is much more to the Asian Male than just his appearance, and this goes the same for everyone else. Appearance and grooming certainly makes the Asian Male attractive, but once you are in a real committed relationship it becomes less important when dealing with love. You could say the physical appearance is a filtering process, a pass or fail. By passing, it means White Females are open to communication without feeling uncomfortable, while failing means under no circumstance will they communicate with you.

The White Fetish

Caucasian females in Asian Culture are often depicted with two qualities: bosoms and promiscuity. Of course this is not an accurate representation of Western Culture, but by only studying popular television series, there is a strong emphasis on physical intimacy. Fortunately, there are aspects of White Females we really appreciate. Among those are the ability to love, care, and express emotion.

More to the Asian Male

Great, now you have found your Asian male, but that’s when the real relationship begins. Prepare for the culture shock. Of course the learning process may be easier with a Westernized Asian Male, but for the ones in Asia, you will learn many cultural and societal differences that may require compromising. I have highlighted some issues regarding this historically based on Confucius and Filial Piety – I have also discussed both the Asian Mother and Father.  These are very issues that a White Female will experience in an AMWF relationship.

The Secret Truth

In all honesty, being around a White Female completely interested in everything Asian makes me uncomfortable, actually it downright scares me. Nobody wants to be the Asian Male only to be replaced by another new and shiny model walking by. Believe me, it makes me uneasy having a White Female in love with everything Asian, and you begin to be unsure if she really has feelings for you, or you just happen to be Asian. Remember, we Asian Males love White Females because their enormous capacity to express love and forgive – not by how Asian they are.

The Chrysanthemum and the Sword – Guilt & Shame

My latest inspiration comes from Ruth Benedict’s book describing the nature and behaviour of Japanese society during the Second World War. Even though this book was published in 1946, many ideas described in her book still exist. Perhaps they are not as evident, but the fundamental principles still remain. In most cases, when I was growing up, I learned how to behave by example and getting scolded by my parents. Television and school also played a major role in developing my character today. One of the things that struck me was the fact that Ruth Benedict’s description of the Guilt Culture as well as the Shame Culture.

Guilt

Now there are two types of guilt. One is defined by moral or penal law, the one where you plead guilty or innocent. The other is the internal feeling of responsibility or remorse for wrong doing. What is important about this is that guilt comes from within. Nobody makes you feel guilty but yourself. People may try to convince you to feel guilty, but ultimately you let yourself feel that way. With the Judaism and Christian influences in Western Culture, after experiencing guilt, we confess our errors and make amends. Of course if it severely violates legal and moral codes, that would result in more severe punishments. It is specific to the moment you made your error.

Shame

Christianity or other guilt-based ideals did not spread quickly to most Asian Nations. In contrast to the Western countries, a shame based society is more prevalent – In this sense, shame meaning the social implications when society has harmful knowledge of you, whether it is true or not. Think of bullying, when someone distorts information to be hurtful, the victim in shame based culture is severely wounded mentally and emotionally. What separates shame from guilt is that the feeling is both external and internal, while guilt is felt by the individual only. Shame is the general feeling of evaluating yourself based on how others would view you.

Comparing the Two

In addition to the distinction between guilt being the self, and shame an internalized interpretation of what society thinks of you, the two function differently.

When faced with a guilty verdict when you know you are innocent.
Guilt Culture – An individual will fight his innocence, for he did not do anything wrong.
Shame Culture – An individual will feel shame, regardless if it is true or not. Society has stained this individual and he has brought shame to his name and family.

When others do not know of what you did (or openly express it), yet you know you did something wrong.
Guilt Culture – Moral code and ethics will give you the realization of what you did was wrong, and you will feel remorse for it.
Shame Culture – If nobody knows about it, then no shame is brought. Life goes on.

Putting it together

Shame is a strong motivating tool in Asian culture because of the nature of the family system. To keep the children in order, a parent can exercise verbal dominance early to reinforce shame. Not only will they share with immediate family, they can also share the news to friends. The feeling of being ostracized or singled out is a miserable feeling for Asian men regardless of being raised in Asia or North America.

What does separate Asians raised in Asia from their North American counterparts is how well the internal guilt is developed. Much of this development comes from exposure to television, friends, school, and family. It is something learned and established. This is also what makes it disturbing, since this is a learned trait. If someone has not developed any ability to feel guilt, then the only way to measure up is to base yourself on what others think of you. Furthermore this is a serious issue for the White Female when you don’t feel remorse for your actions even though you have not been singled out, yet.

Just because you haven’t been caught (or reprimanded) yet does not mean you should keep doing it. While no culture is purely guilt or shame, but a combination of both, the East still tends to lead towards shame, while Western cultures will utilize guilt. We can all learn from each other, but be sure as the Asian Male to keep an open mind to your White Female. She is not there to make you feel ashamed of your faults; she wants you to be a better person.

Why are Men from Asia Worried About Having a Relationship with White Women?

In a collectivist society, when it comes to dating and relationships, you are almost 100% guaranteed to know what you getting into. I mean lets face it, when everyone is taught to behave the same way without much variations, you pretty much know what to expect from your partner. Sure, there will be differences in materialist things like looks, money, status and etc, but aside from that, you know what you’re getting. But as a man from Asia looking out onto the western world, into a sea of women that all look different and are from different cultures, I can image that you must feel unsure about pursuing western women. Let me put your mind at ease.

Everyone has there own opinion about what they like and dislike. Some people are just naturally drawn to certain lifestyles and cultures, which in my mind is perfectly acceptable. Knowing what makes you happy, and what you are comfortable with really the first step in meeting white women.  Think of it this way guys, you have the entire world to pick from! Yes that’s right. If you want exactly what you have before you, then you don’t really need to look far, but if you are looking for something different, then you’ll need to look outside your own country. That’s not always the case, as there are many modern cities all over Asia where western women live and work, but the majority are often found on the other side of the world. Don’t let the fact that you may need to do a some extra work to meet someone stop you from learning more about, and meeting women from a culture that you are interested in. Without risk there is no reward!

So, western women look attractive to you, and you may be interested in a particular culture, but what about the things that are important in keep a stable and happy relationship.  Things like your morals and values, how can you know if you will be able meet someone that will meet your criteria.  Well there are no guarantees in life, but the one thing I can confidently say about white women is that we are as diverse as it gets. In western society there are common values that we all share, but we are raised to respect others rights to have different values. So it’s really just a matter of finding the combination of looks, personality, and values/morals you are looking for. The possibilities are really endless, and honestly that’s the best part about it!

Well what if I find that, will she be accepting of my culture? Could we have a life together? Raise children? What would there life be like? What about religious differences? These are all great questions and I hear them quite often. Many men from Asia might be willing to date western women, but can it really work for the long term. If you find yourself asking these questions I want you to remember this one thing. Repeat after me, we are all human, and therefore we are all the same.  We may have grown up on opposite sides of the world, with some cultural differences, but when it comes down to it, we are all human. We all feel pain, joy, sorrow, guilt, and experience life the same way. The more you get to know people from any age, race, or country, the more you will see that what we experience is very similar.  Western women will see you as an equal to them, respect you, and want to understand you just as much as you want to understand them. Western women will also will appreciate all the good things your culture has to offer, your hard work ethic, dedication to family, and etc..

White women are in general raised to be mature, forgiving, accepting, confident, more in touch with their bodies, more outspoken, have character and lots personality, and we want to share ourselves with you. Honestly as women in the western world, I am so used to diversity that I would be strange not to see it on a daily basis. We are used to it here, we embrace it, and we will embrace you. If you have ever talked to any AMWF couples you will find that there is usually never a problem with blending cultures, that each is open and accepting of each other. They are dedicated and committed to a long lasting relationship, and are willing to work hard to keep each other happy. That’s exactly what she wants for herself, and what she wants from you also. So stop worrying if thing will work out, because it will. You will find that beautiful women who will have the values/morals you want. You will have no problem raising your children, or doing anything else you could have done in your home country. With the right person things will all work out. So get out there guys, you have the whole world to choose from!