Confidence and Communication in Asian Men: Limitations?
October 22, 2010 2 Comments
Many Asian men have told me without any hesitation exactly why they prefer White women as partners. They are more mature, forgiving, accepting, more fun, vivacious, confident, more in touch with their bodies, more outspoken, have character and personality. Asian men appreciate these attributes, and identify them as a preference, but why do they still feel it’s hard to have a relationship with White women? Perhaps because growing up Asian men were usually around Asian women and culture. As expected they are naturally more comfortable with Asians women and the rules of dating associated with them. Perhaps a deviation from that seems like a daunting task, or parents apply pressure to their children to follow a path that they are familiar with? Perhaps the lack of communication skills that often result from a strict and rigid Asian upbringing creates issues when initiating conversation? Many Asian men seem to be conditioned to have the mindset that they are somehow not good enough, that they can’t communicate effectively and be as confident as other men. The truth is that this is simply doesn’t need to be case at all.
For any man, Asian or otherwise, having the confidence to take the risk and to step outside of your comfort zone can lead to great rewards. Sure, it might seem a bit intimidating, but that’s what confidence is all about. Confidence is not being something you’re not, but it’s about using what you’ve got to your best advantage. If you’re a little shy, its OK, be shy, but don’t be afraid to show her who you are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, so do don’t feel pressure to perform perfectly every time you try to initiate a relationship with white women. Often times you will find that white women will appreciate your effort and are happy to talk with you. Of course there are methods to approaching women effectively, but in general it’s best to be yourself. Show her that you are someone who is confident, smart, respectful, and can communicate as well as any man. Asian men sometimes feel that the odds are stacked against them when it comes to dating White women, but in reality it’s only as difficult as the limitations we set upon ourselves.
AMWF Love 
This is Envincebal from Youtube, It’s awesome that you’re doing this blog. This entry made me realize something. Shyness isn’t usually a problem for me, I mean I am kind of shy but I get over it eventually. I do have enough confidence to ask white girls out, but either they put me in the friend zone or just flat out reject me. Then things get awkward between us. I think I know why now. I think it’s because of a lack of communication. I would always just ask them out on a whim without expressing any interest before hand. I think it weirds them out because I come off as just a friend and they get used to me being as such that they can’t imagine me as anything more. I think I need to be more open about my interest in them so they can gradually get used to the idea that I could be more than friends.
The most important thing before you should do before asking them out is to establish some sort of lasting impression through a connection. However in order to achieve this connection, it requires the removal of protective physical and emotional barriers for both parties. This is often regarded as the mask everyone wears. To take it off leaves you in a very vulnerable position, and you must be able to genuine about your intentions. Women can smell dishonesty a mile away. In a sense it is like a dance, slowly getting to know each other and communicating to each other. Nobody likes being hurt so we wear that protective mask. Otherwise we fall victim to those who will manipulate or exploit you. AMWF Love expresses a long term approach to relationships. That is, being able to share your love with someone else for the rest of your life. It may be AMWF or it can be any other combination. The point is that as a man you need to show her that you are authentic, and you truly care about her. I can tell you the road is long, but it is worth it.
Brian
I will save the more detailed approach for a blog post