Waiting for the Perfect Situation

Somehow growing up my parents never really put much emphasis on the humanities or social sciences. I was placed through rigorous extra-curricular activities often involving math worksheets. Oh the memories of that. I do have to give credit to my parents though. I never really struggled in mathematics at all, and it was probably one of my most enjoyable subjects. What made it so great was this beautiful logic and intuition. Almost everything could be derived.

The main reason why I absolutely despised writing was the fact that I could not absolutely bulletproof my arguments. It didn’t make any sense how you could just talk about anything you want by just twisting the author’s interpretation. I really did appreciate the simplicity of a bimodal system. Black or white, true or false, yes or no – things just made sense.

Now when it comes to relationships, this doesn’t quite apply – especially with an Asian male and White female.  At times the Asian male is stuck, not taking action because they feel that the perfect situation has not arrived.

Does She Like Me?

Well, there is only one way to find out if she likes you or not. You have to take action. Nothing is going to happen if you sit there and sulk or pace around your room. Repeat after me: no risk, no relationship. Now I will have to elaborate about taking action. I would say about 99% of the time if you take immediate direct action towards her, she will freak or turn you down. Now for the 1% of people who are absolutely stunning and suave, perhaps they are fortunate.

Taking action does not mean outright asking a woman out for a date. This is not a sport or a game, the objective is not to win or throw the ball over to their court. This is probably the reason why we try the alternative of a friendship developing into a relationship approach.  However, the flaw behind a friendship approach will result you remaining as a friend. This is also known as the “friend-zone”.

Now we are stuck in a dilemma: take direction action and get shot down, or try a friend approach but have absolutely no chance with her. Honestly, the truth is you have to do both. This is what makes things difficult because you need to find the fine line between too much and too little. To all my Asian males out there, you need to have confidence or at the very least, believe in yourself.  Approach a woman with respect and honesty. Give her the ability to be open to express without you showing any lack of confidence. Do not ever talk to her with implications of a hidden agenda. Women can sniff it out right away, and you will be forgotten immediately.

Striking a Balance

Finding the right approach is always tough. It really comes from experiences and a lot of failed attempts as well. Don’t be discouraged if the first time doesn’t work out for you. What’s important is that you have to learn from your mistakes, and try not to repeat them. The formula for success is individually tailored, but with fundamental elements of respect, trust, and honesty, it will go a long way.

Remember, the perfect situation never comes to you. Instead of waiting, go out there and give it a try. You might be surprised with the results.

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