Oh, Materialism

Just because I have preferences for Caucasian females doesn’t mean that I attracted to every single one of them. As I’ve mentioned before, what makes them so attractive to me is their qualities of communication and expression. This is not to say that Asian women do not have any of these qualities, but I have not been fortunate enough to experience it.

In terms of physical attraction, she has to be attractive. Well I’m not asking for drop dead gorgeous, but she carries herself in her feminine grace. She takes care of her physique with a balanced diet and regular exercise, and keeps a natural look in terms of makeup. Some people say that Asian men prefer straight hair on their woman, but I would say it really doesn’t matter. Perhaps if they are born and raised in Asia, then it’s something they are used to, but for me, whatever you like – just keep it tasteful. This good taste also applies to fashion as well. Women in general have a keen sense of fashion unlike their male counterparts.

What I have noticed from Asian fashion and European fashion is there’s a subtle difference in the ideologies. Asian fashions tend to have this blending in quality. The lines are smoother and less pronounced than European fashion, in a sense diverging energy away. This may not seem so apparent in North America because the style has its unique identity here – but in Asia, it’s ubiquitous. I really have no problem with that. What really drives me up the wall is materialism. The accumulation of designer purses turns me off.  How about you spend that money towards something more useful, like your mortgage or monthly utilities?

Yes, Asians have this inherent nature of respect, but beyond the general seniority rule, Asian culture somehow places emphasis on social status. In a sense, everyone would love to be wealthy, but this takes precedence over happiness in Asian culture. You could say the order of our priorities is: Job, money, social status, family, then finally “love and happiness”.

For Caucasian women, love and happiness takes higher priority – they don’t mind living comfortably without a lavish lifestyle. This is a refreshing change for Asian men who have spent a great majority of their time pursuing Asian females. The bonus is that we are still programmed to provide as an Asian male. Really, it’s because we don’t have many ways of expressing ourselves, we just want to show that we care.

The toughest part for Asian men is learning to break free of some societal expectations. We are often placed into a submissive role dominated by the female. The woman in the relationship has quite a bit of leverage. While the male is programmed for income earning, the woman dictates how the funds are managed for the household. While we may not know this, it’s instinctively programmed into the Asian male.

The bottom line, make sure you know what you want.

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3 Responses to Oh, Materialism

  1. AMWF Love says:

    I wanted to say I agree with you on this topic. After marrying into an Asian family, I see the emphasis on social status via material goods as somthing that is very important….yes like the accumulation of designer purses and clothing… or that need for the best electronics or cars…at times conversations only revolve around theses things.. and it turns me off…

    Traditionally yes,you could say the order of priorities is: Job, money, social status, family, then finally “love and happiness”, which to me is really sad. Sometimes I actually need to remind my Asian man that love and happiness is most important, and that although I do enjoy the comfort that money can bring, its not most important to me. I grew up with the idea that love is not money.. and that you don’t need money to be happy. I can honestly say like every other women I do enjoy that a man is a hard worker and is successful,but I would not want a man, even an Asian one, who would work long hours to make crazy money and never be their for me.

    Women who only see men as a method to move up in social status and income are sending women back to the day when we had no rights… when we were just property .. and it makes men feel like their importance lies in their ability to make money.. and not as a partner, lover, and friend.

    – Laura

  2. Jocelyn says:

    Great post, and oh so familiar to me, as someone who spent many years in China and watched the neverending parade of Burberry checks, LV purses and so on. Even worse is that having a house and car is a typical demand that many young women place on the men, and won’t even consider men without these “essentials.”

    My husband and I are pretty much an anomaly among most of his friends back in China — when I married him, he didn’t have a high-paying job or home. Even now, we still don’t own a home. But we have so much love, and we support each other through life — and that means way more than any home, BMW or LV purse ever could.

    • AMWF Love says:

      Yes, there is a substantial amount of materialism in China. This does stem back for historical purposes. Polygamy was thought of as a sign of status. If a man had multiple wives, he was expected to support all of them. This was a sign of social status. Even the Emperor had multiple wives. Ideally it was because once the wife was unable to have kids, another wife would come along. Some people still believe in that.

      I can also verify the statement on how Chinese men are expected to have a house and car to be even remotely considered by a Chinese woman. That’s the problem with popular culture. Our exposure is to visions of grandeur, and a lavish lifestyle. We are exposed through popular media channels to buy particular products, act, and behave in a particular manner. This is no different to how it is in North America, compared to China along with the rest of Asia.

      It is important that we don’t frown on these people, for they are the ones that keep the economy going.

      – Brian

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