Standards of Beauty in Asia and the West: How much do Asian Men Care?

I have noticed that many Asian women are insecure about their physical appearance, far more so than their Western counterparts. There seems to be a heavy amount of social pressure to be extremely thin and to meet that I see as nearly unattainable standards of beauty. They seem to be reminded constantly by parents and friends, not just by the usual commercial advertisements. These standards of female attractiveness include a desired height, oval faces, thinness, pale complexion, and absence of freckles, all very typical of Asia. But what I find also interesting is that Asian women also are preferred to have large eyes with eyelids, and a pronounced bridge of the nose, making them have more Western or Eurasian features. In the quest to attain these features many women undergo cosmetic surgical procedures such eyelid surgery, and nose jobs. They also use skin whiteners on a regular basis for clear, white or pale skin, and they avoid exposure to the sun whenever possible.

Think about it, that’s billions of dollars spent annually on cosmetic surgery and products to meet this standard! It’s not to say that the west does not also spend billions a year on cosmetics, because we do. Perhaps cosmetics surgery is a bit less likely to occur for the average women though. In a society with a collectivist mentality, it seems that this becomes a focus for all women in Asia whether they would like it to or not. In my family no one has undergone theses types of procedure (that I know of) and that could be due to the fact that here in America we just do not place as much emphasis on looking like everyone else. But what I do see here is that Asian women often place value of material goods, such as clothing, shoes, and expensive purses. In some ways I feel like Asian women are just raised to place so much value in how they look, how they appear to others, and it produces, terribly pampered, spoiled, and narcissistic personalities.

When I ask Asian men, who like white women, what they think of this they all give me the same response. “That’s why I don’t date Asian women.” Of course there are plenty of women in the US and around the world that also place a high value on materialist goods. It is just human nature to want the best, and I do not mean to imply all women of any race feel a particular way. But the fact remains that in a collectivist society beauty can really only come in one shape or form and that conformity must be extremely difficult deal with.

With this kind of pressure for Asian women to look a certain way, White women naturally question their own looks. They have asked me if I feel that Asian men would prefer if they had a more Asian look to them. Should they have dark hair, straight hair, dark eyes, or wear Asian fashions? Women, no matter what race, age, or society always seem to constantly questions there appearance and seek validation for it. Oddly enough the answer Asian men always give me is that they like the unique physical features of western women. They like blue, green, gray, or brown eyes. They don’t care if your 5 ft or 5ft 7inches tall. They don’t care if you have tanned skin, freckles, or a pure white skin.

Bottom line, they don’t really care, they love the diversity and do not want women to try and be something they are not.I think it’s important to remember, that Asian men who are not interested in a collectivist type of society, are also not looking for women who would embrace that mentality.They do not hold white women to a certain standard of beauty, other then to what they personally feel is attractive to them. So I need to ask the question, why do women try so hard? Why do we try and be something that we are not in order to attract men, when Asian (or otherwise) men clearly don’t care that much. If anyone has that answer I would like to hear it!

5 Responses to Standards of Beauty in Asia and the West: How much do Asian Men Care?

  1. 內酷超人 says:

    hey guys, great to see you here.
    Actually, Asian guys from Japan and Taiwan have that In collective mentality as well. Many guys undergoes cosmetic surgery to make them look more “white”. History and the road chosen by the governments in Asia has a lot to do with it as well. That is why I’m writing a blog in Chinese.

  2. lindy says:

    umm big eyes with double eyelids are not caucasion features, many Asians have them as well. I’m Asian and I have them and Asian women are naturally skinny and small they don’t need to torture themselves to be skinny. That’s why white people have more eating disorders than Asians. In Asian countries anorexia, bulimia don’t even exist.

    • 內酷超人 says:

      I get what you are saying. There are Asians who have double eyelids, and there are Asian who might even have something close to “typical” European eyes. The point is, the standard of beauty in Asia, from face to spinal skeletal alignment favors a Euro-looking Asian. Such a standard of beauty has been encourage around Meiji period.

      I’m not saying there are not Asian who can fit into the current Asian standard of beauty, I’m just saying it’s almost unattainable for 95% of local people, whereas any slightly above average white person, come into their society, can fit in to their standard of beauty much easier than the locals. And, that is why people in Asia think that white people are better looking than they are in general because most of them think that this beauty standard is just universal truth.

      Problem -> No alternative standards of beauty exist in East Asia.

  3. Tria says:

    I know this is a site for WF/AM but I am a black female and I face this problem when trying to date an asian man because they want a western girl, (I don’t even know what a western girl is, but can you answer it) but I hope they change their beauty standard and even hope they will date out besides just white and asian, because there are black and hispanics that want to date asians but they limit themselves to asian women or white women , but I don’t want to start war, I just want to understand. Because I want them to accept hispanics and blacks more.

  4. AMWF Love says:

    Hi Tria,

    There are indeed Asian Men that are interested in women of Hispanic/African descent as well. The majority of the things discussed on this blog can be transferred to an Asian Male and a Hispanic/Black Female as well. While I understand your situation, I have many posts that are very useful to both Asian Men and Western Women of Non-Asian descent. A lot of my writing comes from my thoughts, personal experiences, and feelings. Unfortunately I have never been in a relationship with a Hispanic or Black woman before, but that is mainly credited to where I reside in Canada. Thus you must understand why I mainly write about AMWF, though I do tend to use less emphasis on the White portion (and call it Western).

    I would say Hispanics and Blacks have the most success with regions in the Pacific Islands, Phillipines, and Hawaii. There is still a strong Spanish and American influence in the Phillipines, I even know of people who are half Hispanic as a result from that. This is not to say that you are restricted to only those regions, as the Japanese, Korean, and even Chinese do have African American inspired popular culture.

    So my response to you inquiry about Asian Men not being interested in Black or Hispanic is that it is a more uncommon combination compared to AMWF, but all of them are still possible. The biggest problem is that Asian Men don’t date Westerners (even White Females) is the fact that it is far easier to date an Asian Female who actually understands the Asian Culture – and the subtle issues that also come with it. However, at AMWF Love Laura and I try to help bring insight into Asian Men and Western Culture to bridge the disparity. While Laura is of Caucasian descent and I am of Chinese (Canadian HK), we can only speak of our own experiences. We encourge AMxF relationships regardless if they are Asian-Asian, Asian-Black, Asian-Hispanic, and of course Asian-White. Yes, the standard of popular culture beauty is unfair, but it is subjective to each individual. Don’t give up your search for Asian Men, there are ones out there who are truly interested in Blacks or Hispanics too!

    – Brian

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