Men from Asia: Pioneers in the Western Dating Market

Regardless of most external factors, the mentality of the Asian male is largely based on his family’s influence. We all know that mom traditionally is the one in charge of raising the children, domestic duties, enforcing morals/values, and achievements in education. Perhaps when you were in school as a child your life was regimented and overseen by her. She made sure you spent more time studying then socializing with other children, kept you on schedule for piano lessons or other activities. She made sure all your needs were met, and that you spent enough time meeting your obligations to family and close family friends (So much in fact that you maybe never needed other friends around). She was the center of your world!

Asian fathers do have a say in most matters, but in the end the decisions still seems to fall on mom when it comes to her son’s happiness and well being. She already has thought about your career, marriage, kids, and grand kids, before you even knew how you felt about it yourself.  Now don’t get me wrong, I give Asian moms credit because they just want your life to be a good one. Free from poverty, problems, and anything that would ruin your chances of happiness is life. In theory this is all fine and good, but when it comes to wanting something different then what mom thinks is best for you, now you’re playing a different  game.

So when it comes to dating western women, or someone from a different culture all together, I bet you realize this might be tricky. Let’s be honest, if your mom is traditional it’s not going to be easy. If your mom is open to minded, it will be much better. But any way you look at it, there may be obstacles standing in your way. Anything from distance and location, time zone differences, language and etc… Even with all that, you know you can make it work. But when you need to sit down and tell mom that you are interested, want to date seriously, or in love with that oh so special foreign lady, now that’s the hardest part.  Now when you tell her how you feel about this western woman, mom will probably be thinking one thing. Will my son, and my grandchildren, have a better life with this women, than he could have in his own country, with his own race?

It’s not a bad question, but I feel it is one that plants the seed of doubt in your mind. One that makes you question your own personal feeling, needs, and wants. I just keep finding that men from Asian countries are hesitant to date and marry white women. I think they feel things wont, or might not work out. That they feel they may disappoint or let down there mom, family, and social obligations. I think that it often puts them in a position to go against perhaps their family or community, and that can be difficult. So when I think about the men from Asia, who do learn English, study western cultures, who stay up all night to talk online, I give them a lot of credit.

So why are you a pioneer? Because as a man living in Asia, you may find yourself in a position that requires you to do something none of your friends of family have done before. You will need to be the guy that says, I want what I want, I do what I feel is right for me, regardless of the social pressures that surround me. Yes that’s you. You can be that guy who goes after what he wants. No you don’t have to disown your family, friends, or leave your culture behind, you just need to the have confidence to do what’s right for you. So if it’s what you want, the only thing that could ever really stop you is you. Go discover, explore, and make your dreams a reality. You are a pioneer!

4 Responses to Men from Asia: Pioneers in the Western Dating Market

  1. Sampurna says:

    You are pretty correct and very forgiving. Guess that’s because you are a man writing to men. 🙂

    • AMWF Love says:

      Actually, this article was written by Laura. Both Laura and I write articles for AMWF Love, with each of us bringing our own unique perspective. 🙂

      Both of us try to raise awareness of interracial relationships with AMWF in particular. We talk about anything really. Usually it ends up being social, emotional, and cultural issues regarding both Asian and Caucasian Culture. Thanks for writing Sampurna. 🙂

      – Brian

      • Sampurna says:

        Wow. If Laura wrote this, then this is… shall I say super forgiving? 🙂 Coz of course I’d differ, but that’s for my blog, not for commenting on yours. And anyway, I like your idea of creating cross-cultural channels of communication. Good work.

      • AMWF Love says:

        Laura’s intent is to encourage Asian men to step out of their comfort zones and make interracial dating possible. Of course being Asian we have our cultural and social values which often differs from a Western perspective. Obviously they do not have to become someone they are not, but it’s important to give a gentle push to Asian Males to step up and make it happen. Yes, we will date interracially, but it’s not as easy or comfortable as dating within your nationality. It’s a learning process for everyone, and by stepping out of your comfort zone good things will happen. 🙂

        – Brian

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