The Commonality of Language

As more and more people are living, working, and studying abroad, one of the byproducts of this is that there are more and more intercultural marriages. But before marriage there is the long process of dating, and when your first languages are different, this makes for more issues then in the average dating process. Anyone who has dated someone with a different culture from their own will tell you that dating can be both exciting as well as frustrating at times. Of course, dating always has its ups and downs, but adding cultural differences, like a language difference, to the natural course of dating can make this a bit trickier.

In the AMWF relationships it is often the case that one partner speaks their second language (English) while the other partner speaks English as their first language. In this case, the one for whom English is a second language has to put significantly more effort and time into communicating with their partner. It’s only natural that this can cause some strain on the relationship, as misunderstandings can arise in any number of situations. For example  the little signs and signals, that are so natural to a native speakers English, are missed, or misinterpreted, by someone who learned English only in school and rarely spoke it in everyday life.

Communication is absolutely vital to any relationship because it allows for the relationship to develop further and more deeply.  Rather than having one partner take on all the responsibilities of learning another language, both partners should work together on their communication. It’s important to be willing to put a lot of extra effort into communicating, because with an even level of communication can make people feel connected with one another. Especially for your WF, the need to be in a relationship with someone who is ‘in tune’ to her is very important. But if you can’t communicate your feelings to her and that you understand  her feelings, then she will be left feeling like you do not care.

Dating and relationships are about making connections with another person, and as human beings, talking is one of the most important ways that we can connect with one another. This is why communication of a high quality is so important in a relationship, especially as it develops from casual dating into a more serious relationship. Intercultural relationships, like the AMWF relationship, can be rich and fulfilling when communication is open and highly developed.  It’s about working together to share yourself and to create a strong bond between each other thought the commonality of language.

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One Response to The Commonality of Language

  1. AMWF Love says:

    Communication is extremely vital for a healthy relationships. It goes beyond the physiological needs such as expressing hunger, coldness or anything related to that matter. While there is nothing wrong about asking how a WF’s day went, if it only extends to that and some monosyllabic responses aftewards then it leads to a rather mundane conversation. For languages such as Chinese, tone is often used to distinguish between words and has less emphasis on implications than English. That being said, communication does span beyond words and there are strong non-verbal cues that Asian Males, well Asians in general are not accustomed to. In my early years in AMWF relationships I wasn’t even aware of these signals myself – the importance of physical touch like placing your hand ontop of her hand, the eye contact, or facial smiles that really show involvement in communications.

    What’s unfortunate about modern times is our dependence on information technology. We stare into computer screens and smart phones and forget the other forms of face-to-face communication both verbally and non-verbally.

    After the cocktail of hormonal and sexual attraction begin to taper off, things like shared values, beliefs, and communication become more important for a long term relationship. Yes it may not be as intensely passionate as before, but it can develop into a very deep and long lasting emotional bond. Mind you it take a lot of time, and communication. 🙂

    – Brian

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