Does She See You as an Asian Stereotype?

The idea of being stereotyped is one that many an Asian man has faced at least once in his life. In America it happens, maybe as a joke by one of your buddies. It probably had a good intent, maybe to strike up a laugh from friends, or perhaps you may have even made jokes about your own ethnicity. Joking between buddies or poking fun at yourself is one thing, but when you think it has the potential to affect the way the WF sees you, that is something very different.

So yeah you all know it, so I’ll just say it.  There are two stereotypical ways Asian men are sometimes viewed. Your either a “Twinkie” (as we say in America)/“banana”, or you’re pinned as a FOB or “fresh of the boat” type. If you’re a Twinkie, besides the fact that you look Asian, there is little to distinguish you from white people. You speak English, and you grew up in western cultures, you have few Asian friends, and you barely can understand or speak an Asian language (or you choose not to speak it). If your pinned as a Fob you were not born in America, you speak your native language fluently and so do many of your friends( who are mostly Asian), your parents do not speak any English, and you have trouble  using the past, present, and future, tenses correctly. But whichever stereotype you may at times find yourself falling under, as an Asian man in an ever growing dating market, your choices are unlimited. In fact if you were born in a western culture or not, you have most likely found that your choice of significant other is not Asian, and might never have been.  With an interest in the opposite sex, from an opposite race or culture, how can you confidently know that these types of stereotypes would not lessen your chances in the dating market.

You can’t know for sure, but speaking from a women’s perspective, these stereotypes do not carry the negative associations that you guys think. In fact we actually view it as two different types of men with associated characteristics, and neither one is better or worse than the other. In fact it’s all about personal preference. If she wants to be immersed in another culture or learn a new language, she may in fact prefer a man from Asia. If she perhaps likes the Asian look without the complication of a long distance relationship and language barrier, she might find herself interested in a guy who’s right around the corner. So are you seen as a stereotype? No not really. Your just another guy who has a an exotic look, or accent, that makes you interesting and unique.  Will being Asian lessen your chances of winning the heart of that beautiful WF, absolutely not. Any man can sweep a lady of her feet by just  being confident and letting her know that  no matter where you are from, or what your first language was, that you can be the man that she needs.

 

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2 Responses to Does She See You as an Asian Stereotype?

  1. Brandon says:

    Being born and raised in North America to illiterate immigrant parents who can’t speak english in the decades they have been here would make one automatically think that I am a twinkie or banana. I speak fluent Cantonese and pretty decent Mandarin. My accents are spot on. In fact, my asian languages were my first languages I learned with english being secondary.

    I have never considered myself anything or anyone but myself. I grew up with Asian and White friends. In fact, two of my best friends are white that are ironically married to Asian women. Hilarious indeed.

    I have exactly one asian friend that lives close to me and two asian friends that are thousands of miles apart but we never ever lose touch with one another. The majority of my friends are white.

    I have dated asian women and white women, ethnicity highlighted for the sake of this topic. I was never attracted to the women I dated because of their race. I dated them because I liked them for who they were.

    But since this is about if ‘she’ (white) ever saw me as a stereotype, then that would be a big N O. None of my (white) girlfriends ever saw me as a stereotype. They were always attracted to me because of me. None of my ‘white’ girlfriends ever inquired about my culture, customs etc. We just enjoyed each others company, did things etc.

    To try and stop making asian men feel so self conscious about being asian: my girlfriend is a gorgeous tall natural blonde. I just asked her if she was attracted to me because I looked exotic, or saw asian values permeating through, or if she ever saw me as ‘Asian’. The look she gave me was ‘are you off your rocker?’. She said that if I am that curious (see what I do for you guys), that I am the first ‘asian’ guy she has been attracted to and dated (even she thinks me asking the whole asian thing is weird). She has never seen me as ‘asian’. Like I have written before, she loves me because I am funny, witty, intelligent, ambitious, tall and hot (her words not mine). Coincidentally, these are the same attributes that I love about her as well!

    A sure fire way to jack up any relationship whether it is multi racial (is that right?) or not, is to be self conscious about things. Am I good looking enough, am I tall enough, did I say the right things, am I being a doofus etc.

    She should like you for who you are. If you are pretending to be someone that you think she will like, well, you have a lot to learn about relationships. Real relationships.

  2. one_armed_swordsman says:

    did u see the white stereotypes?
    1. abuse their kids and wives
    2. phadophlie
    3. drunken behaviour
    4. racist

    these are bad white stereotypes, need I say more?

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