She Only Dates Asian
December 4, 2011 5 Comments
I found this illustration (asiandatingcoach.com) and thought I would elaborate for you on the topic of the types of women and whom they choose to date, and why. I wanted to make it simple because dating and relationships can often be complicated at times. As a man I can understand that you often must wonder, when you see someone you are interested in, if she may even be open to the idea in general. If somehow you only knew, then you could confidently get to know her in hopes of it becoming something more. Although there is no way to really know how she feels about it you, there are some things to keep in mind when it comes to the way women think about dating.
Looking at the left side of the graph (red) you can see that here will always be a small percentage of women who just won’t be interested for many different reasons. These women won’t try and date you, so you won’t date them. End of story.
On the far right (green) you can see that there is a small percent of women that will exclusively only date Asian men. Now these women (and I can say this because I am one of them) come to two forms. They are either the type of women that has a fetish, or they are the types of women who have dated both Asian and non Asian men and from experience found that they prefer Asian men more. I would suggest that you go for the women that don’t have some crazy fetish with Asian things, like anime or dramas, because it often turns out that they have unrealistic expectations of being with someone Asian. Women who have dated Asian men before and have dealt with and are prepared for some of the cultural differences that can often go along with it and it can make things much easier on your relationship. But these women are harder to find, because there are less of them to meet, or they already are with someone to begin with.
In the middle of the graph (gray) is where the largest percentage of women are found, and the key here is that these women are all open to dating anyone, and they may not even know it yet. Most women only require a man to be good to her, care of her, love her, and with a little charm and grace on your part she will be happy. It really does not matter what race you are, but that you are a good match for her. She may not know much at all about Asian culture, foods, etc… or even have an interest in it, but if you’re the right type of man for her, and you show her that you are, she will be happy
So guys, don’t worry if she may or may not seem to be particularly into things Asian because that’s not an indicator that she would or would not consider you. Instead go after what you find attractive, physically and mentally, and she will be receptive to you. In reality you can open her eyes to the possibility of dating Asian men, when she may have not even considered it an option before. So go for it!
AMWF Love 
I’m sorry but that graph is simply taking the biscuit, designed to increase revenues to its site. It if were true, there would not be such a disparity between AMWF and WMAF relationships. A couple of years ago there was a survey done on plentyoffish.com, a free online dating site, and for the first time it asked intimate questions that official offline surveys tend to ignore – namely race. There was a clear “ladder” of “dateability”, where it went something like this (from most desirable to least): women – white/caucasian, asian/pacific islander, latino, arab, black; men – white, black, latino, arab, asian. It also listed the ACTUAL percentage of responses from the opposite sex dependent on race – for white men it was something like 50% of women replied to them; for asian men 30%.
Indeed, forgetting the stats, as an asian man I can go out to any club in my local, 99% white area, and flirt with women. If I was a white man, like all my friends with my attitude, I would be going home with a different girl every week (not saying that’s my style). As an asian man however, I have succeeded ONCE in my home town. So that’s a lot of misses.
Every person/guy is going to have a very different experience in the relationship world.
If one is looking at the graph on the grounds of ethnicity preference/indifference, then I agree with you Jeff that the graph may be not truthful.
I know more frustrated asian guys wanting/trying to date ‘white’ women that it surprises me that they continue to try.
Now, I am going to be honest. Painfully honest. It is not asian loathing. It is not disgust of my ‘own’ people and/or culture. It is just my personal observation and belief: I think the overwhelming majority of asian guys are physically unattractive and undesirable. Every one of my asian guy friends is short, with a slight frame, glasses and straight greasy looking hair and are not very good looking when western standards are used. To be painfully honest again with the risk of sounding arrogant, conceited and bragadocious: Beautiful people date other beautiful people.
Jeff, sorry to hear that you have such a frustrating and disappointing time meeting women. Do I believe it is because you are asian? Especially in a predominantly ‘white’ area? No.
I have lived in a 99.9% white area in America and have had women always wanting to get my attention. It is somewhat annoying because when I used to go to clubs and on the dance floor with my friends. Girls always thought it was cute to touch me or run their hands down my arms. I don’t care how good looking or hot a girl is. I hate strangers touching me. Absolutely hate it. I don’t even like it when female acquaintances (eg friends wives etc) want to give me a hug and kiss.
Crazy story. Here is where I knew that me being asian was a big deal to a ‘white’ girl I was seeing. She was a white supremacist. She was attracted to me, and yes, I was attracted to her as well. We did have to break up on the fact of me being asian though. Why? For her safety and mine because her family and friends were hard core white supremacists. So, yeah. There is my example of my asian origins being a problem with interracial relationships.
Do I believe the plentyoffish ranking? A little. It was surprising to me that asian men were at the bottom of the totem pole. I guess I live in a very different world because never once in my life did I think I was unattractive because of my ethnicity. If a girl thought I was attractive and I thought she was attractive: great! If she wasn’t interested in me. No big deal. There are ‘plentyoffish’ in the sea.
I agree with Jeff that the graph is not useful at all. What is that curve? Is it supposed to be age of the women versus the percentage of who would date Asian men graph? I couldn’t tell by looking at it. That graph probably can be applied to any ethnic group of men.
I am not sure why an Asian male would specifically wants to date a white female. Is it a fetish like the green portion in that graph? Everyone has the right to choose and so did I. My world is 99% white, just like the comments before. I have never worked with Asians or have an Asian counterpart until I was working in Korea. My ex-wife, who is Caucasian, got stared at a lot while we were in Asia.
After I got divorced, I start dating again and surprisingly enough, that wasn’t much of an issue. Also, many of my co-workers have tried to set me up with their friends. I was looking for a like-minded person and she happened to be Caucasian. Geeze, my Caucasian wife is an engineer and I am an Asian political science grad!
OK, here are my thoughts on those who want to date a white American (or any other race) female:
– Get a haircut on a regular basis and shave you sideburns so you don’t look like an Anime character (I keep my hair on the shorter side).
– Go to the gym (I am slender but definitely not wimpy looking).
– Speak proper English (reading will help).
– Dress for the occasion (have at least three suits… gray, navy, black, and a tuxedo); buy the good stuff and they will last forever.
– Wear leather shoes, cowboy boots, whatever suits you, but leave the sneakers for the gym.
– Know how to cook, especially your ethnic food whether it be Chinese, Japanese, Korea, Vietnamese, etc.
– Know how to cook the other stuff, too.
– Know the basic man skills: changing a flat tire, fixing a leaking faucet, changing a car battery, turn of the water to the house, using a chain saw, shooting a rifle or pistol, driving a car with a manual transmission… (all the basic stuff… I am not talking about rebuilding an engine here).
– Always be a gentleman by opening doors, saying thank you to the waiters, giving up your seat in an airport tram, etc (you can’t do this without sincerity).
– Be confident and I think that has a great deal with knowing who you are versus trying to be someone who wants to date a white girl.
I have always lived in the South and never had an issue with dating Caucasian women except for the two below.
I dated a cheerleader in college until her father saw our picture and found out that I’m Asian. He told her to break it off and she did. I drove to her house and demanded why she wasn’t allowed to see me. Her Mom called the police on me.
I dated a paralegal who told me that I’m not Asian enough because I wore my shoes inside the house.
Hi Laura and Brian:
I don’t see an email address to contact you guys so hopefully you get this. I was wondering if you would consider posting a guest post. I’d like to work on an article about okcupid and AMWF. I’ve been using it for 3 months now and I have some insights. Let me know. william.shen@jackson.com
-Will
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