Passive Aggressive Symptoms in Asian Men

Growing up as an Asian child, I was taught it was completely normal to suppress my feelings. My fellow Asian peers were alike as well. Their parents pushed them to excel academically, without any emphasis on the development of social skills or leadership.  When there was something that made you upset, it was expected as a male that you remain calm and collected. The problem is that it meant that we usually bottled up all the events which made us annoyed or upset.

When the situation became unbearable, I’d often have my temper flare up because I felt that it was unjustified that all the past sequence of events that made me upset went unwarranted. It pushed me over the top and I needed a release. Sadly I used to do this all the time. What’s more disturbing is that I thought this behaviour was completely normal, but it is very unhealthy and unacceptable for an AMWF relationship.

The Silence of Approval and Displeasure

This is one of the most difficult things to understand between Asian and Western Culture. From what I have learned from Western Culture, silence is often associated with displeasure or saddening. Silence can be viewed as the closing of communication between two parties. When there is no active dialogue, there’s awkwardness in the air. There are also instances such as giving a moment of silence to express grief for a tragedy as well.

In Asian Culture, it is both approval and displeasure, and this gives many mixed signals to the White Female. Sometimes it is just approval like agreeing on something trivial like the sunny weather. Actually, we have a sound usually for approval.

She says: “It’s gorgeous outside.”

He says: “Mmm.”

In this case, his quick response in agreement is not expressing any displeasure at all. He simply enjoys your company and the sunshine. Identify a quick firm response to the situation. The tone can be slightly rising, but not excessively – for that is a more feminine response.  Keep in mind that is the positive or neutral sound of “mmm” there’s also an unhappy version of it as well.

There is also a slight twist to this. The way we express slight annoyance or displeasure is using sounds like “mmm” but in lingering lower tone. This is one of the sounds we use when we have to agree with our elders or when we get nagged by our parents. The key is to distinguish between the tone and length of the response.

I would believe our true objective as Asians is to embrace a kind of neutrality to it, a bringing of peace and calmness instead of complete happiness. Think of a Yin and Yang, it’s all about balance. Being overly happy is a rollercoaster ride of drama, while being excessively down makes you a bitter person. Thus, being completely at peace is consistently steady. We value that as Asians.

Catching Things Before They Go Nuclear

What’s important for the White Female to understand is to pick up on the subtle clues we leave about our displeasure. It is of course rude to say things directly, and we assume as Asian Men that you think the same way. Usually this is not the case. Problems start to pile up and then suddenly the Asian Male becomes visibly upset over something small, but it’s been a reoccurring problem.

Fortunately this can be worked on together. The White Female has to recognize and make an effort to reinforce the fact that it’s healthy for him to express his feelings, even if they are about unhappiness. Making things disappear today only places a bigger burden on the future.

For the Asian Males, we also have to do a better job to let our White Females know when we are upset. It does not mean raising our voices or any other physical uses, it is simply stating what happened and why it made you upset. Don’t worry she will understand and appreciate that you are making the effort to do so.

In summary, the severity is as follows:

Technophile – The biggest culprit of this usually because of communication skills. Has a decent tolerance for displeasure, but you have to take action to help him.
Comedian – Tends to let anger out the easiest by surrounding himself with people, and will find someone (if not you) to make him feel better.
Ambitious – Vicious. Situtations need to be diffused as soon as possible. Step in, empathize for the situation, but don’t shoulder the blame. He’ll be fine after everything subsides.
Individual – difficult to understand sometimes, but let him know you’re always available to talk, and he’ll seek you afterwards.

Men from Asia: Pioneers in the Western Dating Market

Regardless of most external factors, the mentality of the Asian male is largely based on his family’s influence. We all know that mom traditionally is the one in charge of raising the children, domestic duties, enforcing morals/values, and achievements in education. Perhaps when you were in school as a child your life was regimented and overseen by her. She made sure you spent more time studying then socializing with other children, kept you on schedule for piano lessons or other activities. She made sure all your needs were met, and that you spent enough time meeting your obligations to family and close family friends (So much in fact that you maybe never needed other friends around). She was the center of your world!

Asian fathers do have a say in most matters, but in the end the decisions still seems to fall on mom when it comes to her son’s happiness and well being. She already has thought about your career, marriage, kids, and grand kids, before you even knew how you felt about it yourself.  Now don’t get me wrong, I give Asian moms credit because they just want your life to be a good one. Free from poverty, problems, and anything that would ruin your chances of happiness is life. In theory this is all fine and good, but when it comes to wanting something different then what mom thinks is best for you, now you’re playing a different  game.

So when it comes to dating western women, or someone from a different culture all together, I bet you realize this might be tricky. Let’s be honest, if your mom is traditional it’s not going to be easy. If your mom is open to minded, it will be much better. But any way you look at it, there may be obstacles standing in your way. Anything from distance and location, time zone differences, language and etc… Even with all that, you know you can make it work. But when you need to sit down and tell mom that you are interested, want to date seriously, or in love with that oh so special foreign lady, now that’s the hardest part.  Now when you tell her how you feel about this western woman, mom will probably be thinking one thing. Will my son, and my grandchildren, have a better life with this women, than he could have in his own country, with his own race?

It’s not a bad question, but I feel it is one that plants the seed of doubt in your mind. One that makes you question your own personal feeling, needs, and wants. I just keep finding that men from Asian countries are hesitant to date and marry white women. I think they feel things wont, or might not work out. That they feel they may disappoint or let down there mom, family, and social obligations. I think that it often puts them in a position to go against perhaps their family or community, and that can be difficult. So when I think about the men from Asia, who do learn English, study western cultures, who stay up all night to talk online, I give them a lot of credit.

So why are you a pioneer? Because as a man living in Asia, you may find yourself in a position that requires you to do something none of your friends of family have done before. You will need to be the guy that says, I want what I want, I do what I feel is right for me, regardless of the social pressures that surround me. Yes that’s you. You can be that guy who goes after what he wants. No you don’t have to disown your family, friends, or leave your culture behind, you just need to the have confidence to do what’s right for you. So if it’s what you want, the only thing that could ever really stop you is you. Go discover, explore, and make your dreams a reality. You are a pioneer!

Interpersonal Relationships – Using TCAI

 

Our favourite model is back again. When dealing with describing Asian Men, I find it most useful to make four distinct Archetypes of Asian Men. Like I have always said before, every Asian male has qualities from all four types, but there is usually one predominant over the other three. This time I will discuss the interpersonal relationships using the TCAI Model. This can be used when talking to Asian Men, as a White Female, or even any other person – regardless of relation.

This idea came apparent to me when I was imagining different types of people at the podium giving a public speech. I contemplated on what they would say, but what struck me was the underlying purpose of their speech.

The Technophile: To be greatly appreciated

When talking to a Technophile type, it is important to recognize his contributions and show your appreciation. Since the Technophile is usually a more introverted type, the ways of showing your gratitude can be a simple thanks.  These people are technically savvy, with great knowledge and skill. However when it comes to the communication department, it is very difficult for them to fully express what or how they feel. Fortunately they can recognize the emotions of gratitude and appreciation. Their actions speak louder than their words.

Conversational elements will include: the latest news on electronics and technology, current events, new and upcoming cars, or exciting video games.

The Comedian: To be loved & adored

There is no better feeling to them than to be loved and adored by everyone around them.  Comedians are the ones who can harness the power of humour to bring smiles to everyone’s faces. It comes almost natural to them.  When observing a Comedian in conversation with others, they will be the one taking centre stage, feeding off the beaming smiles of their audience.  Being around people is not a problem for the innately extroverted Comedian. Throughout and by the end of the interaction, the audience remembers how the Comedian made them laugh and brought out joyful memories.

Comedians prefer conversing about popular culture, fashion, sports, social events, card games, and board games. Honestly anything that creates an audience and is funny.

The Ambitious: To be respected & revered

Ambitious types love being respected and revered because they believe that it has been earned. Usually in high social or career positions, they sacrificed much of their youthful leisure to attain such high status. This is different from the Technophile and Comedian in a very slight subtle way. Technophiles places others on a higher position than them, while Comedians prefer the same level. For the Ambitious, they may see that everyone is subordinate to them. At worst it can be felt as bossy, but they really want to do their best. Given that they have a high position, they believe that they have an even greater responsibility to contribute.

For the Ambitious, they have a multitude of topics to talk about. Actually they can be fairly well versed in any topic, but they have a natural gravitation to elements that give elite social status. The purpose of the conversation is to be admired. You will stop and say, “Wow”. They draw similar elements of the Technophiles with the latest gadgets, but they are only focused on the best.  They too enjoy the topics of the Comedians as well, but the underlying intention is not to make you smile, it’s for you to drop your jaw in awe of their presence.

The Individual: To be deeply moved

There’s quite a diverse variety of Individuals. They can range from the quirky types to ones who create the trend before it even begins. To them, it’s not about being appreciated, loved, or revered. Actually, it really is about understanding what they do and the great deal of work they put into it. If Individuals were to give a speech, it would be something so convincing and touching that you would be deeply moved by it. You would feel pathos, to respond so powerfully emotionally that you may reach an epiphany.

Individuals can also talk about anything for the most part, however what they truly enjoy are elements which pertain to our own humanity as a whole. They love design, form, or any ideas that express freedom.  They really do not care if they are loved or hated; they just want to be understood. These are the types that believe they leave a piece of themselves in everything that they do. That’s what makes it real.

The Chrysanthemum and the Sword – Guilt & Shame

My latest inspiration comes from Ruth Benedict’s book describing the nature and behaviour of Japanese society during the Second World War. Even though this book was published in 1946, many ideas described in her book still exist. Perhaps they are not as evident, but the fundamental principles still remain. In most cases, when I was growing up, I learned how to behave by example and getting scolded by my parents. Television and school also played a major role in developing my character today. One of the things that struck me was the fact that Ruth Benedict’s description of the Guilt Culture as well as the Shame Culture.

Guilt

Now there are two types of guilt. One is defined by moral or penal law, the one where you plead guilty or innocent. The other is the internal feeling of responsibility or remorse for wrong doing. What is important about this is that guilt comes from within. Nobody makes you feel guilty but yourself. People may try to convince you to feel guilty, but ultimately you let yourself feel that way. With the Judaism and Christian influences in Western Culture, after experiencing guilt, we confess our errors and make amends. Of course if it severely violates legal and moral codes, that would result in more severe punishments. It is specific to the moment you made your error.

Shame

Christianity or other guilt-based ideals did not spread quickly to most Asian Nations. In contrast to the Western countries, a shame based society is more prevalent – In this sense, shame meaning the social implications when society has harmful knowledge of you, whether it is true or not. Think of bullying, when someone distorts information to be hurtful, the victim in shame based culture is severely wounded mentally and emotionally. What separates shame from guilt is that the feeling is both external and internal, while guilt is felt by the individual only. Shame is the general feeling of evaluating yourself based on how others would view you.

Comparing the Two

In addition to the distinction between guilt being the self, and shame an internalized interpretation of what society thinks of you, the two function differently.

When faced with a guilty verdict when you know you are innocent.
Guilt Culture – An individual will fight his innocence, for he did not do anything wrong.
Shame Culture – An individual will feel shame, regardless if it is true or not. Society has stained this individual and he has brought shame to his name and family.

When others do not know of what you did (or openly express it), yet you know you did something wrong.
Guilt Culture – Moral code and ethics will give you the realization of what you did was wrong, and you will feel remorse for it.
Shame Culture – If nobody knows about it, then no shame is brought. Life goes on.

Putting it together

Shame is a strong motivating tool in Asian culture because of the nature of the family system. To keep the children in order, a parent can exercise verbal dominance early to reinforce shame. Not only will they share with immediate family, they can also share the news to friends. The feeling of being ostracized or singled out is a miserable feeling for Asian men regardless of being raised in Asia or North America.

What does separate Asians raised in Asia from their North American counterparts is how well the internal guilt is developed. Much of this development comes from exposure to television, friends, school, and family. It is something learned and established. This is also what makes it disturbing, since this is a learned trait. If someone has not developed any ability to feel guilt, then the only way to measure up is to base yourself on what others think of you. Furthermore this is a serious issue for the White Female when you don’t feel remorse for your actions even though you have not been singled out, yet.

Just because you haven’t been caught (or reprimanded) yet does not mean you should keep doing it. While no culture is purely guilt or shame, but a combination of both, the East still tends to lead towards shame, while Western cultures will utilize guilt. We can all learn from each other, but be sure as the Asian Male to keep an open mind to your White Female. She is not there to make you feel ashamed of your faults; she wants you to be a better person.

Meet the (Asian) Parents – Well. The mom.

So you finally found your Asian man, and after dating him for a while he wants to introduce you to his parents.

Hold on a second. I can tell as an Asian, that spells trouble already.  Well, good for him for willing to introduce you, but there is a lot more to it than it seems. Maybe I can help by providing some preparation material.

His Parents

Regardless of the country, Asians in general share the same ideology when it comes to dating. It has to be serious. The conservative Asian culture tends to frown on relationships purely based on private romantic interludes. If they are really traditional, serious dating is only the prequel to marriage.

Our parents roughly belong to the baby boomer generation. They grew up strongly influenced by their parents’ bitter post war mentality. Food was sparse, and the wealth of the family was low. The only way advance in society was to work harder. While the average person worked 8 hours, we pushed hard for 10 or even 12 hours a day. Our parents pinched every penny possible in hopes that their children could live a better life.

The View of Caucasians

It was not until the 19th century that there was strong Western influence over Asia. China had been crippled internally and was divided up among international powers for trade. Just like China, Vietnam and Philippines also had influences from the French and Spanish/Americans respectively. While this angst may not be directly carried over, we still have derogatory terms to refer Caucasians.

Japan was really the only nation to completely allow Western influence since 1853.

Now what are the chances that members of the Navy were kind, loving socialites? In most cases, they would have been the classic brutish aggressive man. On the side note, it makes me wonder. If the majority of the explorers in this world were Caucasian (including Europe), then it’s no wonder why white guys naturally go for the Asian girls. I really can’t name you any real Asian explorer. Honestly, I can’t think of one. We just loved our isolationism – guess that’s evolution.

Fast forward to modern times. I can tell you right now the biggest stereotypes Asian parents have of white people is that they are hedonists who has absolutely no control of their finances. Money is a big deal for Asians, and it doesn’t help with the common fear that a white person is going to steal all the wealth away. (refer to above)

For the hedonist portion, it’s more of a lack of control of impulses. This is tied into money by the fact that by immediately seeking pleasure, we are unable to build up wealth and become a slave to money. A stern, reserved, and discipline Asian is ideal.

These are some pretty big stereotypes to break through, and if you truly are in love with your Asian man, you cannot avoid this. However this is not impossible either.

The Phases of Acceptance

There are different mannerisms to treat people based on their social closeness. I would generally classify this as:

I.              The Foreigner – Parents will be reserved, and closed off
II.            The Friend – Now they see you as trustworthy and a good influence
III.          The Daughter In Law – Approval. Finally. You’re part of the family.

Obviously the ultimate goal is to reach the third one, but you have to earn your way through each phase.

Phase One – The Foreigner

Didn’t your parents tell you not to talk to strangers? Well if the parents aren’t fully Westernized then, this is probably the toughest layer to get past. Don’t worry, when you breakthrough this one, it’s smooth sailing. The one you really need to pay the most attention to is his mom. In traditional Asian families, dad brings in the income, and mom maintains household vitality. She is the key to the success and failure of the relationship. For the most part, I would believe the dad may not appear supportive to appease his wife, but secretly he is proud of his son.

His mom is always looking out for her beloved son. You have to establish you that you love him as a person and never for his finances or status. Stand firm, and hold your ground. This is a test of resiliency. She will want to find out your education, career path, and future. Anything practical and reasonable will be fine with her. She will be slightly displeased with an unpractical career like an artist. If her control of English is not strong, be warned that there will be a lack of tact. Don’t be offended, just agree and refrain from prolonged direct eye contact (it may be considered rude or hostile). Show some humility for brownie points. Make sure you find the correct ways to address everyone. Greet everyone in the household when you first enter. Find out proper Asian table manners.

Direct conversation may not be possible at this time, and most likely you will actually have to build rapport through his mom’s influences.

Phase Two – The Friend

Building rapport is done through the community. In most cases Asian are a tightly knit community usually based around religious faith, societal clubs, or social hobbies. Asian women love to socialize and gossip.

With such a close social network, everything is shared. This is why it is so important to establish your good intentions through secondary channels so that good word about you is spread to her friends. She will warm up knowing that you help out in the community. Conversely the opposite also holds true.

Minimize collateral damage by familiarizing yourself with Asian culture – and the cultural specifics to his nationality. General manners of respect and reservation is welcomed. Look into gift giving, don’t come empty-handed into his parent’s house for large social events. It doesn’t have to be something absolutely special, just a sign you are thinking about the family. There is a caveat, avoid clocks (your time to die), hats (unfaithfulness) for the most part – just ask your Asian friends. Something completely generic is fine. Don’t stress out.

Phase Three – The Daughter in Law

Congratulations. You’ve finally made it here. You’re part of the family. It was a rocky start at first, but look how far you’ve come along. Come and visit the family often, maybe bi weekly. By now you’ve earned respect from his mom. Make sure you always maintain it and maybe soon she’s going to rant to you. (A good sign when it’s not involving you)

If marriage is in the future, don’t worry Asian moms have their ways with their son. Show that you are fully competent in life skills, and they will be more than pleased.

My Early Experiences of AMWF

Three of my experiences with AMWF.

Early Childhood Friend

Reflecting back onto my childhood life, I remember having a good friend who happened to be half Chinese and half Caucasian. Being at the tender age of 4, I would have absolutely no idea on diversity of ethnicities in Canada. Born to a Chinese father and Caucasian mother, he looked perfectly normal. We did everything a typical Asian child would do – play video games for hours. I have the fondest memories sitting on the couch in front of his basement television playing NES and Super Nintendo.

It seemed perfectly normal just to have a white mother. I really didn’t know the difference. She was very loving and caring. The only Asian thing about my friend I guess was the fact that he had a Chinese last name, and had random pictures of his father doing martial arts. Somehow that reminds of Bruce Lee, except he’s like 3/4 Chinese, and 1/4 German. Did you know that?

My High School Friend

During my time in High School, I also made a female friend who happens to be half Chinese and half Caucasian. Born to a Chinese father and Caucasian mother, she had a characteristic hair color of Half-Asians, but personality wise she was much more upbeat and outgoing. It was only natural for us to be friends seeing that our older sisters were very close friends to begin with. When I met her mother, I was treated with a lot of great genuine loving warmth and respect. I can feel the glow to her smile, and the beaming  smile of her Chinese father as well. There was much love in the family.

This is something completely different from the cold detached or superficial social graces of Asian culture. Yes I admit it. I feel the lack of authenticity when I have to use a particular tone to greet others in Cantonese.

Must be an Asian thing. It only establishes respect for social order, but does not express feelings.

My First Romantic Interest

Oh the first love – ones we never forget. My first love happened to be a Caucasian girl. I still have fond memories of it all – and I remember clearly why I was so interested in her. This girl was almost everything you could ask for, she was 5″7, athletic, slender, intelligent, caring, and respectful of others. I never felt threatened by her at all. Actually I admit that’s when I started to get my act together. She was definitely smarter than me – so I began to study harder. She could outrun me – so I started to train harder. I did everything I could to make myself better. Never did she once raise her voice at me, and I always felt that she genuinely respected me as a person. No drama or clinging whatsoever, I was in love.

Once again, meeting her mother was just as great. She greeted me warmly pointed at the $10 on the kitchen table saying we could walk over to the coffee shop. Maybe this is characteristic of Caucasian moms. What kind of Asian mother would even remotely encourage that? Sadly it came to a point where my first love was moving away permanently, and we mutually agreed it was best if we ended our relationship. Even though we’ve moved on, I still remember that as my first AMWF dating experience.

TCAI – Asian Men Deconstructed

I have tried to deconstruct the types of Asian men into four separate categories. This is my interpretation on the types of Asian men. The order goes from most common to most rare. Can you guess where I belong?

The White Female Archetypes have been posted. Click here to view it.

Types of Asian Men

The Technophile

How to Spot a Technophile

The technophile contains the vast majority of Western Asians and Asians. They can be picked out immediately by their shy and reserved demeanor. Your typical t-shirt and jeans kind of guy who may choose to add in a Asian flavor such as thick framed glasses accompanying their unique hairstyles. Their minds are filled with usual and interesting random facts.

Dating Preferences

Generally introverted by nature, they strongly connect with a caring woman who really loves to pamper. That is, a woman who can cook, clean, and have patience is priceless to these archetypes.

The Comedian

How to Spot a Comedian

Appearance wise, the comedian does have similar preferences to technophiles, but the distinguishing factor is extraversion. Comedians love company. Often you will find them talkative and sometimes flirtatious. They love to experience new things

Dating Preferences

A very forgiving and patient woman will most likely please comedians. It provides a balance to their outgoing tendencies. Being physically attractive and almost helpless will certainly garner their attention. A damsel in distress will certainly receive help from the comedians.

The Ambitious

How to Spot an Ambitious

Brand labels are no stranger to the ambitious. They proudly present their achievements through their clothing, car, or also house. Sometimes there’s a slight arrogance to their outward appearances, but it’s only because they feel entitled to do so after slaving away for over a decade. They know what they want and won’t stop until they get it.

Dating Preferences

Nothing is more exciting than the thrill of the chase. Challenge your ambitious Asian male yet show him how savvy you really are. Make him beg to be with you, but of course eventually let him win. Challenges and goals in life move them forward. They also love someone complimentary that will take care of the details in life they tend to overlook. Be sure establish that he is number one.

The Individual

How to Spot an Individual

In most cases this category is overlooked due to its rarity. Creativity and expression is one of their greatest gifts. The individual rejects the notion of external expectations, and places high value on himself as an individual. They search for truth and authenticity in life. A broad, but distinctly expressive style is usually observed. These individuals are often reserved because there are so few people who truly understand them.

Dating Preferences

Authenticity above all is the most important for an individual. They want to be with someone who has their own unique separate identity, while still being communicative. Individuals want to be understood and need a woman who is physically and emotionally secure with herself. To them, a real woman has an innate ability to diffuse tense situations and have an open mind.

Dealing with Income & Wealth – AMWF Style.

Money, well finances in general seems to be a very large issue for Asian culture. I would even dare to acknowledge that these take precedence over love itself. Who would not want to be in a socioeconomic position whereby you would never have to struggle to make ends meet?

Sadly this is something that many Asians crave, status and belonging. To be in possession of luxurious goods may suggest higher social status, but often is overshadowed by arrogance and vanity. Growing up as an Asian I was taught the stoic method of dealing with non family members. Never show your emotions because people will take advantage of it.

Being raised with parents who originated from Hong Kong, I truly understand why they think that way. Hong Kong would be the closest to a free market society in the entire world. Government intervention is kept minimal to emergency services, and policing. Welfare does not exist – you must fight hard to survive. Not only do you have to work hard to survive, you have to always be careful of the con artists. Thus, the humility and stoicism carries over as a defense mechanism to ensure protection physically, and financially as well.

However, while Asian are fully capable of suppressing emotions, they too fall victim to vanity. That is, having a false sense of respect from others because of your possessions. A large house and multiple cars suggests you are well established with a good paying job. Thus, being a relationship with someone of similar socioeconomic status may seem favorable as well. In theory the chances of a successful financial future seems completely plausible. Unfortunately we run into the biggest misunderstanding of personal or family finances: income, and wealth.

Despite their similarities, we often believe these two terms are interchangeable. Income refers to the earning potential, the ability to generate revenue. This may be active such as your job, or passive like rental income or royalties. Wealth refers to all tangible and intangible elements that have potential to generate money. This may be owning a business or even pursuing post secondary education. So in a sense, wealth is the accumulation of assets, and assets generate revenue (income).

Most people have the right idea: save more than you spend. However this is a fairly tricky issue and people do dedicate their lives determining how businesses should operate by optimally allocating resources. Thus it seems plausible if you are able to earn more money with a good job, you will probably be able to afford more luxury items. So your social status is higher, and you garner more respect. Right.

What really drives my Caucasian female friends up the wall is that to them Asian families seem so adamant on determining your annual income. Even worse is that my friends had to deal with Asian families that often lacked tact using the blunt words of “how much do you make?”. Money and status isn’t everything to a Caucasian woman, they also have a very keen inner sense of emotion and feeling as well. To them, it’s almost an insult to be stereotyped for gold digging and ostracized for their low income potential. The Asian parents never ask Caucasian women about the intangibles, personal skills, their ability to love and openly communicate.

What they should be really looking for is the wealth of an individual. An individual with a hundred thousand in medical school debt may have little income, but he has a wealth of knowledge. Likewise a female may not have the highest paying job in the world, but she is happy and enjoys life. She is filled with a wealth of experiences, and often is extremely competent in managing finances as well.

So for the sake of dating your Asian man, do your best to understand finances. Become wealthy in knowledge and impress his parents with your humility and frugality.

The AMWF Relationship: Cultural Barriers Removed.

When you look at the history of interracial relationships, Asian male and white female ( AMWF )seemed to be few and far in between. In comparison, Asian female and white male relationships (WMAF) were much more common, and have been around much longer throughout history.  So why has the Asian male and white female relationship been so scarce?  Many have attributed this to the fact that Asian men are more hesitant to approach a white female than they are an Asian female?  Perhaps they do not have the social skills, or are more comfortable with something familiar?  Afraid of rejection or a fear that a stereotype and maybe placed upon them, or holding them back. Perhaps language is a barrier?  For these and many other reasons, the Asian male and white female relationship has taken its time in becoming a common relationship.

As we have become a more global economy and a more global world, language is becoming less of a barrier, and biases of cultural differences seem a thing of the past. As individuals immigrated out of Asia into western societies, their cultural influences slowly became part of the westernized world.  And in turn, westernized culture has made its way into Asia. Many individuals choose to live and work in Asian countries, and many prefer that way of life than their previous one.  The food, behaviors, martial arts, dramas, and anime, have become extremely prevalent in much of the westernized world, that it makes sense that women have become more interested in Asian men.  Although there may be some cultural differences between Asia and westernized world, these differences have become less intimidating, or even less of an issue altogether.  As we begin to share cultures we realize how similar we are to each other, as human beings.The line which was once a drawn for us, which defined races and served as a barrier  keeping  the  eastern  and western  societies apart is beginning to blur. It’s about time!